Yesterday was good, today will be better!

Ok…so I have avoided this blog site.  What the heck!  Why should a rational, sane person avoid a benign diary site? This blog has done nothing to me! It doesn’t write itself….I write it! What a powerful little tool this had the potential to become.  A nonjudgmental accountability partner…who would have thought!

So one might ask….why have you been avoiding your own blog? I’ll tell you why.  I suck! I have horrible restraint and I had a weekend of debauchery. Well…it may not be that bad, but I did have a prof in grad school tell me that I have a lot of catastrophic thinking.  It was, and still is, a very accurate statement of my mental capacity.  I tend to have a glass half empty in life.  If the glass is half empty, then I am not anticipating that it will get fuller at any point 🙂 I seem to take the same approach with my eating and I know that it is probably part of what is working against me.  When I have a small indiscretion, then I tell my self I have failed for the day.  Once I have “failed” for the day the I adopt a “what the hell” attitude and just throw caution to the wind. If I am going to have a bad eating day it is going to be a MARVELOUS bad eating day!

I blame all of this on the snow. 10959774_10206264728883396_6495000113219456741_n. 12 inches approximately.  I hate snow!  Now some might ask, if you are a cognitive behaviorist, how did the snow make you eat? Does snow have arms and a spoon? Nope. Does snow cook? Nope. Does snow taste good? Nope.  I just hate snow, therefore I shall eat.  Logical thinking….right?

Ok, so I can’t blame it on the snow.  I do however blame it on being cooped up in the house with little to no opportunity to get out and roam. I also blame it on my propensity to “self medicate with food” when I am stressed.  If you haven’t been cooped up in a house with a couple of wild boys (4.5 and 2.5 years old) then you truly don’t understand the need to “self medicate.”  Food fills a need.  It can’t be that bad you say.  I say it can and is.  When your one crutch is food, you lean on it.  Just like a person with a head ache takes a pain reliever!

Ok…so here goes.  I shall confess my sins on here.  Monday was a HORRIBLE day.  I ate pretty much all day. Lot’s of chocolate. I try to block these things out you know.  Then Tuesday was worse.  I had to go to work to take care of some paperwork for an 8am meeting on Wednesday.  It took about TWO hours to get there. Have I mentioned that I hate snow? That left me with about 2 hours to get through everything I needed to do for the meeting.  This would have all gotten done on Monday if l had worked….a foot of snow is enough to cancel classes apparently. I was busy in my office and all I ate was a yogurt. By the time I got home that afternoon I was a hot mess, plus my 2.5 year old wouldn’t take his nap so I had two crazy kiddos bopping around.  By the time Tony, my husband, got home I was nuts! My relief….a whole pizza, yep you read that right, a few glasses of sweet moscoto (I refuse to disclose the actual amount), Doritos, and finished off with a large amount of those brookside chocolates. CRASH!

Unfortunately the punishment that followed was by way of a sleepless night (too much chocolate wine).  However Wednesday was a better day.  I was up at 4am, at the gym by 5:45 and working my way through a series of meetings and classes by 8am.  A nice, regimented day with responsibilities and expectations.  Plus a good two miles on the walking track at the gym.  Much better eating day! Yesterday was good.  Today will be better!


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