4 days left on my first 21 DSD!!!

Four days to go! The end is in sight and I am dreaming of mayo and blueberries! I am so proud of myself and Tony for making it this far and not going too far off track.  We did accidentally cheat once though.  We ate sweet potato fries thinking they were on the “ok” list, only to discover that they are not! This has gotten a lot easier the further we have went in the process.  I’m not really missing all of the sweets that I like, but I know that it will be very important to continue being vigilant with not over indulging! Self-control will be an ongoing problem for me.  However, I have been working diligently to get back into a gym routine and hope to keep the momentum.  I know how important it is for me to exercise and I know that, personally, the exercise drives me to want to eat healthier. I…gotta…exercise!

Now, there has been a slight monkey wrench this week.  I, successfully, had my gallbladder removed on Tuesday.  What can I say….I have been stoned for years! I am pretty sure that I have had gallbladder attacks for about 10 years and stones were confirmed while I was pregnant in 2012.  The discomfort continued for four years and I finally had a chance to get my gallbladder removed this summer. I have been good with my eating and have had no significant issues other than some localized soreness.  I may well attribute my lack of digestive issues to the clean eating I have had the last couple of weeks.  We will see if things stay settled with my stomach once we are finished with the 21 DSD! My only slip was with cough drops.  My throat was a mess after the surgery and I did allow myself some cough drops to help ease the discomfort.  One thing though….cough drops have sugar in them! Technically one might say that I have failed my 21 days and must start over.  I say….I haven’t failed because I’m not sitting on the couch binging on a tub of ice cream to ease my discomfort! I will saythat I am making it through with my favorite n’oatmeal! It is a real lifesaver! Along with a new discovery…Coco Monkey Smoothie.  Unfortunately I  have had to slow down my exercise though.  I am itching to go for a real walk and hope to accomplish that by Friday! A slow walk at least!

Overall, things are going well and the food is getting easier!  Anyone wanna commit to  21 DSD with me in the near future???

Half way through my 21 DSD!

I had a rough couple of days during days 3 and 4.  I pretty much had a headache both days and ended up taking an Advil day 4.  I’ve been somewhat tired and a bit snippy as well.  The book did warn that I would have carb flu at this time and I have, indeed felt a bit flu-ish.  I am pretty confident that my body went through a period of rebelling against me because I was denying it sugar and junk.  I am also, probably, cutting my caloric intake in half.  I am not tracking calorie intake, but I have to be pretty severely cutting back, because I am averaging about ½ a pound of weight loss per day. I know that isn’t “healthy” in the long run, but I also know that rapid early weight loss is pretty typical in people identified as obese. I won’t sustain the rapid weight loss for long, but my body does have to adjust to the healthy version of eating. The book I am following does suggest that as the sugar cravings subside food will taste different.  My taste buds will change.  I am looking forward to that day, because right now I am just not feeling food.

This week has been much better.  I write this as I wrap up day #11.  I have found my stride and started working a way to get more veggies in.  I do…not…like…to cook for myself.  I enjoy cooking, but if I cook it I seem to not like to eat it. I have had Qdoba two days this week because I can get lettuce, meat, avocado, pico, and several other goodies on top.  This immensely satisfies my needs while staying within the 21DSD requirements.  Pico de Gallo is my savior!!! I am actually using it as my salad dressing!  Also, today we went to the Tiger’s game and I bravely ordered a cheeseburger, no bun, with an egg and bacon on top.  It was VERY good!

At this point I really seem to be finding my stride. I have a “go to” breakfast and I have been eating chili for lunch, then having a varied dinner. I am not feeling an urge to seek out sugar and have adapted to not having crackers, bread, or chips. I anticipate that the next 10 days will focus on building good habits and continuing to address my desire to seek the less than healthy choices. Fingers crossed that the next 10 days go smoothly!

One year later…I’m back!

So…it has been almost exactly one year since I posted anything on this page.  I am picking up the keyboard again to document my 21 day sugar detox (21DSD) journey (see the books by Diane Sanfilippo).  I think that I am finally ready to work on slaying the sugar dragon that holds me hostage.  I may finally be in the right mindset to do it! As I write this post I am wrapping up day two of the program.  Tony (the husband) and I are going to do this together.  I did a lot of cooking, prepping , and shopping to prepare for Monday!  Here we go!

You might ask how things are going at this point.  I would answer that things are going pretty smoothly for day 2.  The problem is that I hate healthy food.  I would much prefer a big mac or pizza.  I am not a big veggie fan either.  Meat and veggies are the primary focus of this diet.  No grains, no fruits, no bad foods basically.  The point of this program is to help a person overcome his/her sugar cravings in 21 days.  This is simple and easy for Tony, he cooks his breakfast and lunch and follow a pretty good paleo diet already.  His problem is that he has gotten into a diet drink/ice cream rut…those are about the only two things he has to change! I, on the other hand, have to completely give up everything I love….sweets, carbs, fast food, sweets.  Get the picture?

For day one I had a faux oatmeal for breakfast, a faux scone for lunch, carrots and avocado dip for a snack, and halibut for dinner.  (fyi..that will be the only time we have halibut, I didn’t realize how expensive it is). I had a little bit of a headache in the evening, but other than that all was well.  For day 2 I had a mushroom/green onion frittata for breakfast, turkey sandwich meat, swiss cheese, carrots/peas, and some faux crackers for lunch, artichoke and capers chicken thighs with carrots/peas for dinner, then an avocado “pudding” for dessert.  Overall it wasn’t too bad, but I have been a little nauseous this evening.  I think, like any good addict, I am going through some withdrawals! Along with modifying my eating I have made it to the gym both days and hope to go all five days this week.  Basically I go and walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill.  Getting active!

I am a bit apprehensive about making it 21 days and I really don’t want to fail, but all I can think about right now is a chocolate chip cookie!

Two days down, 19 to go!

Have…you…missed…me? :)

Greetings all!

So…..it looks like I have been avoiding you all. I have! I have also been avoiding myself! I fell off of my self-imposed wagon after the Disney trip at the end of February. It seemed like once I blew my eating routine I really blew it to hell! No more vacations…ever! (yeah right). I have fallen back into some of my old eating ways and lo and behold I gained back the 10 pounds that I worked so hard to get off with eating! I have stuck to my no-creamer guns though! I am now starting to enjoy my coffee with milk only! It isn’t too bad! However, that isn’t helping me with weight loss or getting control of my eating. This sucks! I gotta get it together man!!

Some changes have taken place over the last several months though, so all hope is not lost. In June I signed on to hike trailparticipate in a 13 mile hike to raise awareness and funds for the Cystic Fibrosis foundation. ((Link for my fundraiser page)) Yep…you read that right 13 miles….in the woods….in one day! Oh geeze…what have I gotten myself into? I have started “training” for the event by increasing my steps and walking distances. This past Sunday I completed a 4.25 mile hike in the woods. It was hard work and I hurt all day Monday, but I did it! I am slowly building up my distance and hope to get at least 5 to 6 miles in this coming weekend.

Not only have I gotten on the hiking trails, but I have bitten the bullet and gotten myself a personal trainer! She has started getting on me about my “empty calories” and junk food habits. She is also helping me to start building up some of my endurance and loosen up muscles that have long been forgotten. I have to keep reminding her that the last time I worked out was in like the early 2000’s! I am supposed to be stretching ever day and doing crazy things like lunges and such. I have got to get on that! No pain no gain (or loss in my case)!!!! I have said it before and I will say it again…habits take time to make and time to break! This is a slow, painful process, but I hope to be able to do my 13 mile hike without dying!

I really want to change and change takes time. Patience is a virtue. Wish me luck and stay tuned….I am working on catching up with the earlier mentioned wagon and trying to hop back on!

Has anyone seen my priorities?

With my head hanging low I return to you all. It has been a while, but it is now time for me to confess and work toward rebuilding the momentum that I had going in January and February. All I can say is…..never take a vacation. Literally. At the end of February my family went to Disney World in Florida and I haven’t been on track since.

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I blame it all on the scales. If I were a health minded person I would realize that I cannot blame an inanimate object, but hey….a girl has to blame something for the smashing failure. We had a good time visiting the parks. My pedometer stated that we walked approximately 10 miles each day….no kidding! That is probably an underestimate too, because I pushed the stroller a lot and the pedometer doesn’t always pick up steps when you are pushing something. TEN MILES A DAY! Did you hear me? Also, I worked to try and be diligent with my eating. Our first big meal….salmon and fruit. Does it get much healthier than that? Now, I know that I didn’t eat the best in the world, but I know that I ate a lot better than I did before I started my weight loss plans in January. I would have been eating junk and candy and chocolate the whole week if I wasn’t being careful. My first mistake was that I didn’t use my MyFitnessPal app while I was there. I was probably consuming more than the 2200 calories I have set for myself, but I know that I wasn’t maxing out at the 4000 and 5000 that I have been guilty of consuming in the past. Have you ever set eyes on the pastries in Italy (at Epcot)? Yep…they look divine…..I passed!

I was riding high on my proudness until I got home. 10 miles of walking a day and restraint in eating…..I SHOULD be a few pounds lighter…..right? Absolutely not! I had put on two pounds of the weight that I had worked so hard to peel off. I should have had the pastry! This was a very discouraging moment. Now….many of you are thinking I am crazy. Don’t I know that weight fluctuates? Yep…I do. Don’t I know that the scale shouldn’t dictate my life? Yep…I do. Don’t I know that I should throw the scale out and not use it at all? Yep….I do. But I am not listening to rational thought right now. I caved. I crashed. I have fallen hard.

So…..for the last month I have been slowly reverting back to my old ways. I am eating all of the things that I had worked to eliminate from my diet. I am once again eating the junk and minimizing the impact. To make matters worse…I have been sick, the kids have been sick, the whole dang house has been sick for the past 3 weeks. At one point I couldn’t speak….at all! Not good. What does this have to do with anything you might ask. Well….between myself being sick and sleep deprivation from the kids being sick I haven’t been walking. No trips to the walking track at the gym and no walks around the neighborhood. So….in addition to crappy eating (my husband is on a donut run right now) and no exercise I am right back where I started!

I KNOW what I need to do, but I’m not doing it. I need to find my mental Buddha again. I have to fund my priorities again, pick them up, glue them back together, and start all over.

Butts and Bellies

So…..I know it has been a while since I posted on here. I’ve had things going on. Work and kiddos take up a lot of time!

How have things been going you might ask? Well…..um….slow and steady wins the race…..right? I have had a lot of highs and lows over the last several weeks. My greatest conquest has been finding a creamer alternative for my coffee. This week I think I have finally found a solution. 1 Teaspoon of coconut oil and three table spoons of milk. Low sugar content, high on the yummy scale. Plus everything you read says coconut oil is good for you!

One thing I haven’t spent much time talking about yet is my new endeavor to go to the gym. I joined the gym on the campus where I work because they have an indoor walking track. I have been going every week 2 to 3 times a week and walking between 1 and 2 miles. I like it! I haven’t missed a week yet! To be honest, it will take getting into a regular exercise routine for me to start getting motivated to eat better. I think it is something about FEELING like I am doing something physical that sparks a desire to do something mental and work on changing the foods that are going into my body. By the way….we’re not even going to talk about the foods that are going into my body right now. I should mention that Fat Tuesday was this week. Yep…I enjoyed it!

However, I do want to talk some about my body image. As a matter of fact, I pretty much composed this post while walking on the track last night. So….I am a people watcher. I love observing people in their natural habitat. The gym is a fine place to do things. I gotta say that I love the gym I am at. There are hefty people there. Ya know….it isn’t one of those gyms where the only people you see are those skinny folks that never gain a serious ounce anywhere on their body. I’ve been a member of that gym too…..I never went after joining. This gym has people of all shapes, sizes, and abilities. I LOVE that! It is great. It is good to feel like I fit in and that I’m not being judged for not looking like everyone else. I guess I might be just a tad self-conscious about my large and in charge size!

Well, last night while I was doing my laps I started thinking about my body. Now I have to say that I really don’t spend a lot of time focused on my appearance. I am not really a beauty conscious person. I am not on this weight loss journey because I want to be pretty. I just need to be healthy. So….I was thinking about my butt. When you are walking around a track people walk in front of you. If you care to observe, you will see a lot of different butts. Yep….I looked. I gotta say that mine is quite hefty. As a matter fact my grandmother always used to comment on my large butt. She would say something about me being born with a large but and that I would always have a large derriere. It’s true. I will. I like my butt. No matter how much I work out or change my eating habits….I will have a big butt. That is life. Same goes with my breasts….unless I pay someone to fix that. Well…I guess I could pay someone to make my butt smaller as well, but I like my big butt. I wouldn’t change it.

Now…one of my greatest anxieties, since having kids, is that I won’t be able to get rid of my belly flap. I’ve always been large in the belly, but two pregnancies have stretched things in new directions and now I have that shelf like front in my belly. Actually I mentally reference it as my butt belly (a belly that looks a little like a butt). It scares me to death! If I were to lose the 80lbs that I want to lose I think that the butt belly will still be there. I don’t want that. I hate the thought of that. It seems like such a letdown to know that if I work hard to lose the weight that I am still going to have this mass of extra skin. Have you ever seen pictures of those people who have extreme weight loss? I mean….like over 100lbs lost. They have stretched skin in all of the places that used to be fat (inner thighs, lower part of upper arms, and in their belly). I am assuming that it would require surgery to remove the excess skin.

This skin flap (aka butt belly) is my greatest fear and probably the greatest reason that I don’t want to really get involved in losing my weight. I don’t want that flap of skin on my belly. I guess it is vanity. It seems so mean for my body to do this to me! Now, I have mentioned this concern to my husband before and he says that the body has a way of handling these things and that the skin is miraculous. I don’t know that I believe him. I have to say that I am not really one that focuses on body image. I don’t wear makeup and most of the time I devote less than 5 minutes to figuring out what I’m going to wear for the day. I only wash my hair twice a week and I occasional wear a bracelet to work. That’s about it. But….I am hung up on one flap of skin that may or may not remain on my belly. Oh well….time will tell!

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Yesterday was good, today will be better!

Ok…so I have avoided this blog site.  What the heck!  Why should a rational, sane person avoid a benign diary site? This blog has done nothing to me! It doesn’t write itself….I write it! What a powerful little tool this had the potential to become.  A nonjudgmental accountability partner…who would have thought!

So one might ask….why have you been avoiding your own blog? I’ll tell you why.  I suck! I have horrible restraint and I had a weekend of debauchery. Well…it may not be that bad, but I did have a prof in grad school tell me that I have a lot of catastrophic thinking.  It was, and still is, a very accurate statement of my mental capacity.  I tend to have a glass half empty in life.  If the glass is half empty, then I am not anticipating that it will get fuller at any point 🙂 I seem to take the same approach with my eating and I know that it is probably part of what is working against me.  When I have a small indiscretion, then I tell my self I have failed for the day.  Once I have “failed” for the day the I adopt a “what the hell” attitude and just throw caution to the wind. If I am going to have a bad eating day it is going to be a MARVELOUS bad eating day!

I blame all of this on the snow. 10959774_10206264728883396_6495000113219456741_n. 12 inches approximately.  I hate snow!  Now some might ask, if you are a cognitive behaviorist, how did the snow make you eat? Does snow have arms and a spoon? Nope. Does snow cook? Nope. Does snow taste good? Nope.  I just hate snow, therefore I shall eat.  Logical thinking….right?

Ok, so I can’t blame it on the snow.  I do however blame it on being cooped up in the house with little to no opportunity to get out and roam. I also blame it on my propensity to “self medicate with food” when I am stressed.  If you haven’t been cooped up in a house with a couple of wild boys (4.5 and 2.5 years old) then you truly don’t understand the need to “self medicate.”  Food fills a need.  It can’t be that bad you say.  I say it can and is.  When your one crutch is food, you lean on it.  Just like a person with a head ache takes a pain reliever!

Ok…so here goes.  I shall confess my sins on here.  Monday was a HORRIBLE day.  I ate pretty much all day. Lot’s of chocolate. I try to block these things out you know.  Then Tuesday was worse.  I had to go to work to take care of some paperwork for an 8am meeting on Wednesday.  It took about TWO hours to get there. Have I mentioned that I hate snow? That left me with about 2 hours to get through everything I needed to do for the meeting.  This would have all gotten done on Monday if l had worked….a foot of snow is enough to cancel classes apparently. I was busy in my office and all I ate was a yogurt. By the time I got home that afternoon I was a hot mess, plus my 2.5 year old wouldn’t take his nap so I had two crazy kiddos bopping around.  By the time Tony, my husband, got home I was nuts! My relief….a whole pizza, yep you read that right, a few glasses of sweet moscoto (I refuse to disclose the actual amount), Doritos, and finished off with a large amount of those brookside chocolates. CRASH!

Unfortunately the punishment that followed was by way of a sleepless night (too much chocolate wine).  However Wednesday was a better day.  I was up at 4am, at the gym by 5:45 and working my way through a series of meetings and classes by 8am.  A nice, regimented day with responsibilities and expectations.  Plus a good two miles on the walking track at the gym.  Much better eating day! Yesterday was good.  Today will be better!